Tuesday, February 09, 2010

A snippet from my RL- Proud Mum Moment

Usually I'm blogging about my day , or my quilting or my Meatless Mondays or whatever. It's usually mildly amusing for you as readers , or at least that's my hope.   Today, I'm going to give you a window into a part of my life.  Today I'm going to get real with you. Not real as in look-at-the big-pimple-on-my butt-real. Even Real-er than that.

A brief bit of background. We have only the one child who from age 14-17  was a total wild child. She was the poster child for all the things you don't want your teen to do. Seriously. I was beside myself on a regular basis. Seriously.

I know people have judged her. People have judged us.   There have been many times where my daughter's actions have limited her experience, her acceptance and her opportunities. She moved out of home at 17.  She left school, having scraped through Year 10 and pretty much lived hand to mouth.  Six months after she moved out of home  she announced she was pregnant.

Some thing happened to my daughter during the pregnancy process. She came out the other side of that a wiser person. A nicer person.  A likeable person. She adores her son. She has learned lessons about not putting herself first. About not living completely in the moment.  About what it means to be responsible for yourself, for your child, for your life, for your choices. Sure, she struggles some days. I don't know a parent who doesn't. She isn't perfect. I don't know any other person who is, so I don't expect her to be. Parenting is a lot of work and a lot of random luck. She's doing better than OK at this point.

For one teeny weeny moment I want to have a small brag. I don't do it very often and I want my daughter to have her moment in the sun after many moments on the dark side.

So, what do you do when you are an 18 year old single mum, with a 6 month old baby? What are your prospects? DD has narrowed her choices down to  1) you can sit on your behind and get on the welfare roundabout or 2)  you can take control of your own life.

Last week, she announced she's going back to finish high school. She chose a school. She did the interview and picked her subjects. She has organised it all herself.  She's found great childcare for her son. She's worked out how she's  going to get to childcare and school using the bus because she doesn't drive. She bought  all her  books and supplies herself. She's got a plan for parenting while she works at passing the final two years of high school.  She has acknowledged it's going to be hard but that she can do this.

And she starts next week.

How fabulous and gutsy and terrific is my daughter? 


Marg said...

Your daughter is absolutely, seriously fabulous, gutsy and terrific.

vawriter said...

Lessons learned the hard way are never forgotten. Good on ya, DD! (She said with a Virginia accent.)

TheLab said...

Wow, I nearly cried. This must be scary for her, but she's facing it head on! The child care, the finances, the school and classes themselves - all intimidating... What a great model for her son, though he is a baby, she's giving him a story of perseverance and hard work and reaching goals. If she's setting out to accomplish this now, imagine what she'll do in another couple years? Wonderful.

AnnieO said...

Taking the reins of her life and her child's is a fantastic start to the rest of her grown up life. Her confidence can only grow from here as she checks off her accomplishments. Yes, a bit of a brag is required!

Sarcastic Quilter said...

Good for her for finding her inner strength and courage! This cannot be easy and she def. deserves credit for doing this!

and you, mum (grandmum) deserve a little credit for showing her such strength during her life so she learned it's an inner resource and not anything she can get externally.

lw said...

In 1977 was a 19 year old with a six month old baby. I dropped out of college to have her, but I went back when she was four. It took me 16 years to get my bachelor's degree (I kept having to stop and work full time and only go to classes at night.) Now I'm a senior aerospace engineer. Let her know that everything is possible if she just keeps moving forward.

I'm proud of your daughter for doing the right thing for her son, and I'm even prouder of you for not giving up on her no matter how tough it got.

Deb said...

What a fantastic post and what a brave young woman. She must be so proud of herself for having made all of these big decisions and for now taking the bull by the horns and giving it a go. You must also be so proud to think that she has given you hope and has finally given herself a chance. Smile, its a good day.
hugs Deb

Shay said...

Thanks for the comments everyone. I am really proud of some of the decisions she is making about her future. More importantly - so is she and that's what counts!

Miss Pyjamas reads my blog from time to time and told me yesterday she got all teary when she saw what each of you had written. I think it really boosted her confidence in herself.