Monday, April 12, 2010

We Are Not Amused....

Forgive me blog readers for I have been has been 7 days since my last significant blog post (although you all seemed to like the ironing board cover post ) However posts about chocolate and other cooking do not make my blog a wildly exciting read. It kinda sucks I can’t be scintillating every minute of every day...Although I have noticed that there has been generally a lot less blogging going on than usual across the blogs I follow so maybe we all have the same malady. (And actually I thought we had talked about you Northern hemisphere people not enjoying your spring and leaving me practically postless for my Autumn.  Seems to me the second the sun popped it's head out you were all gone.What's up with that hmnnnnnnnnnnn???)

I'm about to have a rant. I’m really sorry if you feel I'm going on endlessly  about my laundry. I’ve tried so hard not to write this post but not writing it is giving me writers block...seriously. I feel like I can’t be normal again until I get this off my chest. So I would suggest you completely ignore this post, and go about your business...Move along folks..nothing to see here. But if I dont write this - I may never write anything but chocolate and ironing board cover posts again. I have been failing to see the humour in anything for about a week, and it's time to get over it.

It’s been a really busy few days at Maison Pyjamas. In between me acting like a crazy harpy, the laundry is coming along slowly ...oh so freaking slowly. 8 weeks and 2 days people..8 weeks and 2 days since I had a functional laundry. Words fail to describe how sick of being laundry-less I am at this point. I finally cracked when Mr. P had to drag the washing machine in again Friday so I could wash. Like ranting, crazy out of control cracked. After I’d calmed down and stopped frothing at the mouth (no- I don’t have pictures) and using words no lady would use,  Mr. P told me the washing machine can stay in the laundry and remain connected and he’ll just finish the painting around it. The floors should be a breeze... I hear he has hired David Copperfield to levitate the washing machine while he completes the tiling. The idea that I can wash without making an appointment with Mr. P to drag the machine back inside made me one marginally happier camper. I say marginally because I dont think anything but a  finish is going to satisfy me at this stage. I mean , we have 4 people in this house and one of them is a I can't wash once a week.  I don't do well with major ongoing changes to my routine. I think I've been pretty damn tolerant.I love to do the washing ( I know I'm a sicko right?) and I hate my house being a mess. What sane person keeps their laundry hamper in their office?  I just want to say, for weeks, I've had no door, I've had no floor, I know I sound like one big bore. I think I'm channeling Dr. Seuss as well.

To be fair , I did change my mind about the floor tiles and we had to go hunting for new “perfect” tiles ..which apparently only exist in my own imagination. Eventually we found something I was happy with , and of course they were the most expensive tiles in the known universe. When the guy told us the price, Mr. P took one look at my face and just whipped out our credit card. So I decided to get off my tushie and start doing my bits of the laundry this past weekend since it looks like we might actually be finished before say,  October.  My big jobs include spray painting the laundry hamper  and painting the back board for the laundry baskets. (You'll understand if  I ever have pictures of a finished laundry to show you )  I want to point out here , I lived on my own for 9 years after Miss P came along and managed to do all my own handywoman work  and paint walls and all sorts of other stuff, but apparently I lost those skills when I sold my soul by moving in with Mr. P  so I've been relegated to wielding a spray can like some frilly girly chick which we all know I am sooooo not. So if I sound peeved its because I am.  And here endeth my rant.

So here I am  spray painting in my pyjamas...Mis je parais beau ?

I know Martha Stewart would have been doing this in Versace with pearls and high heels but I'm not Martha (although in some of the shots Miss Pyjamas took , I have a serious J-Lo butt going on- be thankful I didn't share them-I'm pretty sure she took those ones on purpose-why must our children torture us?) and Martha also wouldnt have ended up with spray paint on her fingernails , up her nose, and in her hair. I wish I was half as perfect.

I taught Miss P how to make awesome scrambled eggs this past weekend so she doesn't starve to death when she moves into her own place. We marked the occasion of her actually cooking by raising the Australian flag and explaining what a frypan was.

I had been on the lookout for  months for an old ornate gilt frame for a project I’ll be doing in the next few months. There was nothing out there gave up and bought a nice large wooden picture frame and planned to use that instead. But today I played hookey from work and went to the salvage yards and on my way back I went to Goodwill and saw this....

I was on it like a seagull on a chip...that baby is mine and is perfect for my project. I am so excited, and at 8 bucks it was an absolute steal.  Plus I got some material for cushions I want to make for the loungeroom. Goodwill rocked big time  today.  

Since the universe was being so friendly to me,  I  went and bought this as well...because I saw it 6 months ago and I know if I don’t buy it now it won’t be there when I do want it in 6 months time... my intuition was spot on because this was the last one.

Both  the frame and the clock are for the kitchen renovation that we have planned for later this year...we have been saying for 8 years we are going to get a new kitchen someday, and something else always ends up taking priority . I told Mr. P earlier this year i didn't care if he had to sell a kidney I was getting a new kitchen,  but since I booked the kitchen designer to come this Friday it looks quite likely that it will happen and Mr. P will retain all his organs.

And if you thought my grizzling about the laundry was bad wait until we start the kitchen/dining room  because we're removing a wall and most of our ceilings and all of our floors  when that happens. I'm hoping that will mean we get to eat out a lot. I bet you're all hoping you won't have to listen to me whine about it.

Exhale ...I feel so much better. If you made it this far- and haven't unfollowed me you're a legend. And if this is the only post of mine you've ever  read, for crying out loud go and read some of my funny stuff before you judge me. We have a 4 post rule here you know.


Shevvy said...

You are in so much trouble!!!

If this is what doing the laundry does to you the kitchen will finish you off completely!

I got mine done a few years ago and it took about 4 weeks from start to finish.
There is only me in the house;
I hardly ever cook at the best of times;
I had enough clothes that I didn't need to do washing (no specials rooms for laundry here),
yet it still stressed me out, A LOT.

But it was worth it in the end! I even got self closing drawer and I still play with them sometimes to remind me how much I love the kitchen now.

Brenda said...

We got a new kitchen last year and although I LOVE it, it was pretty much 8 weeks of hell. I am amazed that you're tackling another major remodel so soon, we usually have to wait 2 years, minimum, before I can even think about another area to re-do. It was 2 plus years between the master bath and the kitchen and now we want to add a fireplace, but I'm thinking 2015 after that kitchen remodel! (Glad your girl is learning to cook, I did a woeful job teaching my girls to cook and I feel bad - sort of - they were quite unwilling to learn!)

Anonymous said...

I hate having work done on the house. I'm with you all the way. Mr. P sounds amazingly patient, though. The kitchen re-model rants will be something to look forward to. Love the clock! Where's mini-p going? See how I renamed her? Like that? Just amusing myself.

Elizabeth said...

Mrs. P, you're still funny even when ranting. I'm excited for you to get your kitchen remodel! Keep us posted. Seriously :D.

AnnieO said...

That was a magnificant rant, I enjoyed it immensely because I am far away from you and only had to read the words, and not actually hear the shouting. It might have been more effective to type in all caps, tho...

Kris said...

So, it's my first time here (Not even sure what the four post rule is and too tired to click on it.) and I didn't hate it.

I hope your laundry is fixed really soon. If not, I have a suggestion. Make Mr P in charge of the washing. It worked for me. I whinged about the fact that my laundry was too small (I did wash for 10 people in there) for years, but it wasn't until I refused to go in there anymore and HE had to take over that he began to realise that my rantings were not some random method of torture, but a legitimate grievance. Did he fix the laundry? No. But we did move to a lovely house with THE best laundry. Worked for me!

TheLab said...

I LOVE ALL OF YOUR POSTS! Chocolate, laundry, doesn't matter. You should hear me trying to pull off an Australian accent in my head while reading, to really get the FULL effect. (It sounds British, it's sad.)

Anyway, I would go crazy without the laundry! Wait, what am I saying? I have two babies and I haven't successfully done one full load, washed, dried and put away in over a week. So, maybe I'd survive without it just find. As long as the grandparents keep buying the boys new clothes, I'm good. I never need to wash.

You're awesome.

Marg said...

Wonderful rant, and still very entertaining as always. You can rant any time you like.

My laundry is downstairs and very small, so the laundry hampers are in our bedroom and bathroom. My ironing board is permanently up in my bedroom as I have nowhere else to put it or store it. All I can say, at least there are only two of us or I would have gone stir crazy by now.

You could have still worn the pearls with the pj's whilst spray painting, although I do agree, high heels are just a bit too much.

Love your Goodwill find, $8 I am crying here, it probably would have been $80 here. Cheaper to buy a new one!!!!!

I renovated the kitchen two years ago, but I moved it,(it's now where the living room used to be and the living room is where the kitchen used to be) so left the old kitchen in until the day the new kitchen was put in. Clever?????

Looking forward to your "whining", it makes for entertaining reading,he he.

Sarcastic Quilter said...

First, "Seems to me the second the sun popped it's head out you were all gone" NOT ME!!! I wish you could be yelling at me, heck, at this point, I'd buy you a plane ticket so you could tell me off to my face and do laundry at my house for a penalty but nope, I can't. My excuse. Moving sucks. It sucks more if you are the husband is the pack rat, you are the purger and you are the only one doing the packing. I am 99% done packing. Movers come between 9-9:30am to load the trucks we are driving ourselves on Friday. (yippee) So, from about noon today to now, 9 hrs later, I've been "bitchy barbie" as the hubs would say b/c I just bitched about how much crap he had. 5 years, lady, 5 years! We've lived in this house and things haven't been touched since where I put them. He had 5 yrs to go through and keep it so explain to me why I now have to haul it out with the stuff we DO use? grr...

-sigh- on the bright side, I am so glad to see you are still posting and thanks for bringing a smile. I would help finish your laundry if I was there. I hope you are hiring kitchen redo staff rather than DIY. Kitchens are such a pain. I'm off... I'll be back in another week or so. No fun gardening for me but I have a new quilt idea for a new baby of a friend. Finally, a boy! :D

A Garden of Threads said...

Wow, you were on a roll, us Northern people all headed out to the sunshine. A new laundry room, oh how I wish as my laundry is done in the basement. Maybe one day, in another life. Can't wait for the kitchen reno, that should be worth a few laughs. Take care;)

Baa-Me Kniits said...

I love a good rant....thanks for the giggle! Must have been something in the air or the moon or something as I was pretty close to the same thing this afternoon. I took the boys for a sleepover in Cairns and left some lovely rissoles in the fridge for their tea when we got back home this evening BUT guess what....someone had eaten them (and I even hid them at the back of the fridge) maybe I should have told Hubby they were not to be eaten but as there was plenty of other food I thought the rissoles were safe. His stars in the paper today said he would be extra tenacious (and he was) and mine said I should use tact when dealing with difficult relations ( I did...kept my mouth shut, I actually thought about it before I opened it ) therefore no Hissy Fit BUT it could have been a good one! Love the spray painting in the PJs and your clock and frame...Lovely!

Kirsten's Cooking said...

loved your post! I hate laundry (actually, it's just the "putting away" part), but I can't imagine having to make an appt so my husband could drag the washing machine in! You are a saint. Yeah, I'm wondering also how he's going to tile around the washing machine??
We (well, my husband) has been working on our master bathroom for at least three years...we were storing the toilet in his closet for at least 2 1/2 of those years, so we've made some progress...he just has to finish the grouting on the shower, paint, and do's at least half functional (we're using the toilet and sink).
I do think it's a therapeutic thing for our guys, though...they deal with numbers and people all day and probably enjoy coming home to work a little with their hands!
Keep the rants coming, I think it was a very successful post, according to the response you received! :)

Simply UnFlabulous said...

The year my husband and I got married, we also bought a house and decided to build a new kitchen. Words of wisdom: Never renovate and marry in the same year because one of those two things almost never happens. Anywho, we built a brand new kitchen from the floor up, and it was grand, but the months spent cleaning up and living like hobos was not my idea of a good time.

PS..I too have have J-Lo booty.

Jenny said...

The kitchen remodel sounds like fun. DO NOT REMODEL YOUR LAUNDRY ROOM, THOUGH. That might do you in! Funny post. Can you exhale now?

Unknown said...

Fantastic ! I love to read a good rant it makes me feel so .... normal ! Thanks so much can't wait till you start on the kitchen, I'm really looking forward to that one . All the best though really .

Shay said...

All of you guys are da bomb. Thanks so much for your support and it's nice to know you all had a laugh due to my pain. Glad to help out!

Shev..I dont think I will cope

Brenda - If I leave it two years between rooms I'll be 80 when I finally finish.

Chicken-I'm hopeful that eventually she'll move out before Christmas preferably. Our revolving front door is a whole blog post on it's own!

Elizabeth- I think you just want to see hwo far I can really be pushed without cracking

Annie - I'm taking the CAPS THING ON BOARD BABY!

Kris-Thanks for stopping by. I see youre from my neck of the woods. How nice to have a fellow Adelaideian visit.

Leslie- I love you! And I can't do an American accent either so we're even.

Marg- I'd like to move my kitchen and I actually could, if Mr. P wanted to sell both his kidneys and a lung....and one of his corneas.

Garden, I think I'm moving out of home for the kitchen reno.

baa...thats actual grounds for divorce...unless you wanna keep him.By the way I used to spend a lot of time in your corner of the world and it's beautiful!

Kirsten, yes I am a saint, and I waited once for 6 months for a piece of glass and then had a spitty. Actually I'm pretty sure YOURE a saint for having a non fucntional bathroom for that long.

Ninja- yes, but what would you have picked if push came to shove...the husband or the kitchen ...and answer honestly. Oh and dont worry I'm going to drag you all through every detail of my pain with the kitchen reno.

Jenny! too late! We are doing the laundry...and it's awful. At least with the kitchen the payoff is that people will see it.

Audra, next time I tell you something will go great in my new kitchen rig your blog giveaway!lol..just kidding. But that rooster would have looked awesome in my's true!

Bitchy Barbie..I've left you until last because I know if you could you'd be right here kicking Mr. P's butt with me. You are welcome anytime you know that. I am also not a hoarder and it drives Mr. P insane that I throw away single screws he might use one day and make him get rid of clothing that hasnt fitted since 1983. I hope your move is going OK..and that you all make it in one piece and about 8 packing crates lighter because you managed to get Mr. Sarcastic to part with some of his hoard.

Simply UnFlabulous said...

QIMP - If I knew then what I knew now, the kitchen. LOL Totally kidding. (sort of.)