I went to Costco and Lived to Tell the Tale

I spent the week counting down to Friday because Costco finally opened in Adelaide this week. Friday was my first chance to get there and I went with the lovely Taz from Tazzie Quilts and her gorgeous daughter, Amy.  Taz is the most awesome shopping buddy ever because she turns her judgement filter off , and doesn't ask pesky questions like " Do you really need that?" and "What are you going to do with 12 kilos of chocolate chips?" which is what would have happened if I'd gone with Mr. P. I hate it when my husband harshes my shopping buzz and insists on a dose of reality. I'll use 12 kilos of chocolate chips...eventually. 

I had heard horror stories about people going to Costco and never being seen again, and of others who went and only made it out after filling 11 trolleys with stuff and having to sell a kidney to pay for it all. (The organ removal section of the store is at the back near the bakery, proving they really DO have everything) So, I was smart and went with a list , vowing not to get sucked in by the cheapness and awesomeness of it all. And all I have to say after having been there is OH. MY.GOSH. I failed epically.

One of the first things to go in my trolley was the biggest jar of peanut butter I have ever seen. Naturally this wasn't for me because eating a teaspoon of this has the capacity to kill me. But I knew if I brought this home for Mr. P he'd just about crap his pants, because the way to keep your husband happy is to buy him a 44 gallon drum ( OK a slight exaggeration there) of peanut butter. I also procured him a sack of Reese's Peanut Butter cups, as extra insurance against future potential divorce. 

Here is Amy , who wanted to bring home some Peanut M&M's. I heard her muttering "I want ALL the M&M's" somewhat maniacally to herself , and Taz had to distract her by yelling "Look, 8 litre bottles of shampoo and conditioner!" and pointing in the opposite direction. 

Lots of things were cheap...so, so cheap. Outside of Costco a bakery would want you to pay at least 3 bucks each for these cupcakes, but at Costco the whole tray was just 9 freaking dollars. I didn't bring any of these home but I wanted to ..so so bad. I'm not really all that fond of cake but I do like frosting and these are cheap enough that you can buy them, lick off the frosting and give the cake to your husband telling him its Madeira cake. 

Taz couldn't resist pointing these out to me while laughing loudly. She comes across like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth but honestly ? She's kind of a bitch. 

For those of you that can't understand why a stack of gingerbread house kits would instill fear in a grown woman go and have a look here . And don't think for one moment Taz that I've forgotten you promised to be my gingerbread house pimp this year.  And thanks to other hilariously funny people, with a warped sense of humour, I already have a foam gingerbread house kit and a Christmas tree kit waiting in the wings for me this year . I'm looking at you, Cardygirl , and you Little Miss Sunshine. 

This was my trolley as I was standing at the checkout line.  I'm totally making S'mores with those jumbo marshmallows. They're the size of pillows. Bear in mind that these trolleys are twice the size of regular trolleys. And they are American trolleys so only the front two wheels move in every direction. The back wheels are fixed, which is a little disconcerting when you're used to doing a rapid 360 turn with Aussie trolleys. I may or may not have taken a couple of people out trying to use them like a normal trolley. But its all good. Costco has a trauma hospital on site too and I'm sure they did a bang up job of fixing the people I injured.  

This was part of the lineup for checkouts. That lady in the stripey pants wasn't really a serious shopper. She hardly has anything in her trolley at all. Jeez Love, put some effort into it. If  you're coming to Costco its kind of mandatory to buy one of everything. By this stage people were getting kind of feral and rude. Except for me- I was standing waiting my turn and dreaming of what I could make with 10,000 fluid oz of maple syrup and 12 pounds of American cheese. Preferably in the same recipe. Taz kept telling me we had a butt-load of cheese, which is where all the fat from the aforementioned cheese is going to end up ...

Look! Frozen cranberries-unheard of here !!!!Until now its been really disappointing when about this time of year Pinterest and other people's blogs are full of cranberry this and cranberry that and you cant get cranberries here. Now I can make cranberry everything.  And look! Maccas cheese . I was so excited it was almost sinful.  I love Maccas cheese and the only place you can get that here is on Maccas burgers. Its the most fluorescent  looking cheese I've ever seen. Mmmm...I love it's orangey processed goodness. 

Ranch dressing! Chipotle Sauce!!! I did the happy dance. For those prices you can drink it like a cocktail if you feel like it. A 12 kilo box of brownie mix? I'm in - gimme some of that. It doesn't matter that I'm not a big fan of brownies. It was too cheap not to buy it. By the time I chucked Hershey's cocoa in my trolley for 7 bucks I was giddy with the amazingness of it all. And I defy you to tell me who doesn't need 3/4 of a kilo of Maldon salt flakes for $14.99? Aside from my arteries and blood pressure. 

A lot of the prices were seriously awesome, some weren't, and I bought stuff for the sheer novelty factor of Chicken Pad Thai, Buffalo Wings and Waffle Fries. 

The Verdict: I almost had a panic attack when they rung up my total. I swear I hyperventilated. Excessive consumerism at its finest. Thank goodness we have disposable income because I managed to use a reasonable amount of this weeks buying stuff with it. But I wont have to buy glad wrap , hand wash or or tea bags for the next year so there is a definite up side.  Was it worth it? As a once off or occasional thing - definitely. If I shopped there every couple of weeks I'd probably go broke. 

The Pink Dress

Im going to put this out there for anyone who hasn't picked this up through my 663 blog posts and almost 5 years of blogging ...I am not a girly girl.  I am all about having beautiful hair and I wear undies every.single. day. but clothes wise my tastes and lifestyle tend to run more to "smart casual",pyjamas or jeans than dresses or skirts. I don't own a single skirt. I do own two dresses (both of which I actually wear with leggings because that's semi trendy and because I don't have to worry about wearing pantyhose because pantyhose are the invention of the devil) and a ball gown that I've worn once on New Years Eve 2008. I think that might be the last time I wore a dress without leggings underneath....

Part of my dress aversion arises because I don't have the hips for dresses. When they were handing out hips I thought I was standing in the cocktail line and so I accidentally got served twice. I also got in the boob line at least three times but thats neither here or there, unless you were the poor sucker behind me who missed out completely, sorry about that. However today I went dress shopping because I frigging well had to. Grudgingly, and without any pleasure about it at all. 

My nephew is getting married in about 5 weeks. His fiancee is a girly girl, as are her sisters who are organising some of the stuff around the wedding.What do you get when you put all this girly girl stuff in a blender along with pre-wedding festivities like kitchen teas and Hen's night celebrations? You get an invitation that stipulates you have to wear a pink bloody dress to one of those events. And that sucks when you don't own a variety of dresses- let alone a pink one. A pink dress that you will never ever wear again as long as you live. A pink dress that will make you stick out like dog's balls in a room of lithe young things who will be able to rock their pink dresses while you look like a big fat middle aged good year blimp. 

I'm all about making the best of a situation. My plan was to find something demure and non noticeable and cheap (since I was never wearing this darn thing again) and to sit in a corner for the afternoon sipping tea and sucking my guts in.  I imposed a time limit on my shopping (2 hours) and a set amount of shops in which to look (3 maximum) and if I hadn't found something I was coming home and going to this shindig in pink jeans dammit! (Yes I do have a pair of pink jeans)

Sometimes life has a way of surprising you. Just when you think you're on an impossible mission life throws you a bone.  At the very first shop I spied a dress I actually liked and it was the only one left. With trembling hands I sussed out the size tag and almost cried because it was my size. I tried it on still not convinced that I wasn't dreaming and I didn't feel like breaking down and crying when I saw my own reflection in the mirror.  I'll have to shave my legs before I wear it because they look like a Mediterranean mans armpits but I can handle that. They haven't been done since about May so it's probably time anyway.

Behold the perfect dress...(which I already have a matching clutch bag for in my cupboard !!!!!) 

I've decided I WILL wear this again since it's cocktail length and I have a gala dinner coming up in a couple of months and this dress will be very forgiving when its rolled up and chucked in a suitcase for our overseas trip. Serendipity I tell you! 

The best part? It cost me less than a Maccas meal...which means I have plenty of money to go buy me some spanx. 

RIP Irving....And Snippets from My Week

My iron had a rather unfortunate accident this week where he pulled a Humpty Dumpty and fell off the washing machine.  Mr. P subsequently found out Irving had died when he went to iron his work shirt on Friday morning. Guess who went to work in a slightly crinkly shirt?

So it was off to buy a new iron this weekend. Mr. P was dragged along with a lot of eye rolling happening. There are a dizzying array of irons available and I'm quite the iron snob (which is ironic given I don't iron clothes) so finding one that I could bond with wasn't an easy task. Anyway, eventually I found my sole mate (pardon the pun) so meet Izzy who so far is proving herself to be a real workhorse. 

The sole plate on this will look pristine for about a week and then it'll look like I haven't cleaned it ...ever. Even when I have.

There was also a trip to the hardware store this weekend and it was my turn to eye roll at Bunnings while Mr. P got excited about all manner of shit I have no idea about. We were buying paint for the guest room which I will be slapping on walls next weekend while Mr. P is off enjoying 4 days of motor sport at the Clipsal 500.  

I had a doctors visit last week. I got the anti smoking lecture which I tried to divert a little by pointing out that I'm also quite fat. Apparently this didn't come as any big news to Dr. Ben and so with the focus (temporarily) off my potential lung cancer and onto my possible heart attack, this week has been full of salad and vegetables and fruit and non white bread and healthy lunches instead of steaks slathered in butter sauce, and pies and chips and takeaway asian and chicken packs for lunch.  I seriously feel like murdering people most of the time and all I can think about are Tim Tams and chips , and massive wheels of cheese.

I slipped on Wednesday night and "accidentally" inhaled some salt and vinegar chips when Mr. P was out at 8 Ball. Then I took a bag of chocolate sultanas to bed with me and hid the empty packet in my underwear drawer before Mr. P got home. I felt so dirty - but it felt so good. I was totally busted when Mr. P got home because apparently I was angelically asleep with chocolate around my mouth. 

On Wednesday I made a snap holiday decision for 2014. We're heading off to stay here. I've already booked our flights and accommodation ( and yes - we are staying in one of those darling little chalets on the water) 

 And we're going to sit by this pool and drink cocktails...I promise I won't mention it again until at least three months before we leave. 

And garden plans abound at Maison Pyjamas. Various parts of the lawn have been poisoned in preparation for garden beds to be dug so some plants can go in over the next month or so.  This is my dodgy kindergarten style plan because I'm a visually creative type. 

 I went and raided Sister of Pyjamas Hibiscus hedge for multiple cuttings today because I want to bring this front yard re-do in for pretty much nothing over the course of this year. I hear that's possible if you're savvy - what I know about gardening at this point could be engraved on the head of a pin so it looks like I'm going to be learning as I go. Tips will be most welcome starting with anyone who knows how to strike and keep hibiscus alive.

And for my last trick of the weekend, the Postage Stamp quilt is all quilted. Now I just have to find the mojo to get the binding done.

May the start of your week be kind to you ..I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Sometimes you come to a cross roads in your life and big changes loom on the horizon. Some of the time those decisions come easily and other times they're really hard and involve a lot of angst. Soul searching  decisions are the hardest. They're the things you wish you didn't have to do but know somewhere deep inside that ultimately it's going to make you a lot happier. 

For a long time I've been facing one of those type of decisions and have been putting off making it. I kept hoping things would change or get better but on Friday I finally realised that I had two options. I could keep doing what I was doing or I could be the agent of change and move on to a different , and hopefully better, scenario with my life. 

So on Saturday, because I am a girl of action (after debating to and fro about this for 6 months)  I broke up with my supermarket. I have shopped at a regional chain for about 20 years resisting the lure of the two national supermarkets because I didn't like the idea of their duopoly with regard to market share. But when service and range and quality gradually decline where you're shopping and you have a couple of snippy b*****s who are unreasonably rude on a consistent  basis and act like they're doing you a favour by checking out your groceries (when that's what they're paid to do ) and the community feeling of the store changes you have to question your choices. I spend a fortune grocery shopping and I want my hard earned money's worth. Dammit I want to pretend shopping is an adult version of a theme park. I want the total experience. 

I don't like change. And for years I've harped on publicly , all holier than thou , about how I wouldn't shop at one of the majors, about how I was doing my bit to keep my dollars in the state and was supporting local business and about how I loved the service I got at the smaller chain. I thought the prices were as reasonable as they would be anywhere else and that the quality was there.  I knew where everything was and I could do my entire fortnight shop and be home and unpacking it in under 45 minutes. But when Mr. P starts to complain about the taste of the fruit and veg I'm buying I have to give some credence to the idea that considering a change wouldn't be a bad thing because that man never complains about anything. And usually doesn't chew for long enough to register  flavour or texture. So when he told me a peach turned to tasteless dust in his mouth this week the decision was made. 

So yesterday armed with my shopping list and an hour a half to do my shopping, I went to the big national grocery chain store down the road. Just to try it once to see if I liked it but mainly to pick it to bits so I could keep shopping where I have shopped since time began. I'm almost ashamed to admit it was good. Really good. And that the staff there didn't have horns growing out of their heads, and that my head didn't explode from shopping somewhere new. In fact, I was like a kid let loose in a candy store. They sell avocado oil. The other store has never even heard of it.  And they sell peri peri marinade far cheaper than I can make my own. The range of items just blew my mind. And everything was cheaper. The fruit and veg was so delectable Mr. P moonwalked around the whole department in delight.  The deli section is incredible. I would have saved a lot of money if I hadn't been so busy buying things I've never seen before. I feel like I've walked out of the shopping wilderness into a whole new world. 

See how the little things in life excite me? I'm sure it's a hallmark of middle age. And the fact I wrote a whole blog post about it makes me even sadder. But I'm going back again next fortnight because it really was a cheap way to get some thrills.