In the interests of international relations , I bring you “Translation Tuesday” where I’m going to explain all our Aussie-isms. I get a lot of questions and emails about stuff I post and I want you to understand all the weird stuff we have here, which by the way, doesn't seem weird to us.
It is appropriate I start with an Australian Icon and something I mention often.I give you Vegemite. This black crap in a jar is liquid gold and has a place in 90% of Australian pantries.
Vegemite is particularly topical at present because I sent Cynthia some vegemite recently (does that make me a Vegemite pusher?) and she’s avoiding eating it because of all the negative publicity Vegemite continues to get from non vegemite-o-philes. (Glares in Marg's general direction ) Cynthia practically stood in another state while she got her partner to open the jar, like she was afraid snakes were going to jump out. I fear Vegemite has a bad rep and is completely misunderstood. And , I don't find the vegemite bashing funny...Vegemite and Australians have feelings you know. Do I diss Cheese Whizz? Graham Crackers? Other weird international products? (Except for rollmops - which really are gross - Sorry Finland but I aint never coming to the party on those and I'm part Finnish and eat a lot of weird things - just check out my Slack Tea Thursday posts)
Let me explain Vegemite to you. In Australia, from the time we’re old enough to gum toast our mothers slap this spread on bread and toast, or on our crumpets, or on our crackers or even on Weetbix. Some might call that child abuse. Real Aussies call that breakfast. None of that wussy Peanut Butter and Jelly for us Aussies. We want something that's going to shock us awake and harden our arteries at the same time. Because we are a wild and crazy race, given to eating almost anything including our national animal symbols like Kangaroos, Emu's and Crocodiles. You can buy them at the supermarket. I can't imagine American's eating a bald eagle. I rest my case.
Vegemite has magical healing properties folks. I ask you is it coincidence that we have no leprosy, diptheria or scarlet fever in this country? I think not – it’s all down to the daily use of vegemite by about 90% of the population. Vegemite is a wonder spread.
Now, some of you have made disparaging comments about vegemite. Based on what ? The fact it tastes like road tar? Looks like road tar? Tastes like salt on toast? It's delicious and high in Vitamin B.
Vegemite was invented in 1922. The guy who invented it wanted to find a way to use the yeasty scum they scrape off the top of fermenting beer. Australian’s are inventive that way. Waste not – want not. By some odd process it turns black and then they add about 5 pounds of salt to every jar to really funk it up. My Dad used to joke that they also used beetle blood to turn it black but I’m pretty sure thats not true. (Yep just checked the jar and beetle blood isn't listed as an ingredient -my Dad is such a kidder)
Personally I can't believe this stuff hasn't caught in internationally like Fosters beer, which in my opinion tastes WAYYYYYYYYY worse.
Considering the Billionth Jar of Vegemite was produced in October 2008, how can that many vegemite lovers be wrong? And for any Australian who says they don’t like it – well thats just plain un-Australian. We actually round up people who say they don’t like vegemite and make them go live in exile in the desert.
To further help you, I have added this awesome tutorial on how to make vegemite toast..Cynthia , this is required reading for you and there will be a pop quiz later , so take notes.
Tutorial – Vegemite Toast
You will need: A Toaster, Bread, Vegemite and Butter (see how simple vegemite makes things?)
Cook your bread to desired golden-ness and spread with butter. How much butter you spread is totally up to you ...I love butter so I go a bit crazy.
Spread with vegemite , as desired. On the left is a normal person's amount of vegemite . On the right is my vegemite. (because I am tough and can't stand it when people wave the knife full of vegemite over the top of the toast and pretend they actually put some on there )
it's that simple. Enjoy! This is the good-est stuff ever.
Actually I lied....this is how I really spread my vegemite but I didn't want to gross you all out.
Seriously though, If you haven’t built up an immunity from Vegemite by the time you’re three years old, eating this shit will probably kill you. You’ll never develop a taste for it. But I think you should try it anyway and get someone to take a picture of your face when you take the first bite.
I hope you have a better understanding of the Australian love for Vegemite. Please email me with questions or Comments...or if you want a vegemite delivery.
P.S. This blog post is brought to you by the letter V and by an idea suggested by beautiful Marg from Sunshine?Paradise?, which I completely stole, after asking her if I could , which isn't really stealing then is it?