Sunday, November 23, 2014

I went to Costco and Lived to Tell the Tale

I spent the week counting down to Friday because Costco finally opened in Adelaide this week. Friday was my first chance to get there and I went with the lovely Taz from Tazzie Quilts and her gorgeous daughter, Amy.  Taz is the most awesome shopping buddy ever because she turns her judgement filter off , and doesn't ask pesky questions like " Do you really need that?" and "What are you going to do with 12 kilos of chocolate chips?" which is what would have happened if I'd gone with Mr. P. I hate it when my husband harshes my shopping buzz and insists on a dose of reality. I'll use 12 kilos of chocolate chips...eventually. 

I had heard horror stories about people going to Costco and never being seen again, and of others who went and only made it out after filling 11 trolleys with stuff and having to sell a kidney to pay for it all. (The organ removal section of the store is at the back near the bakery, proving they really DO have everything) So, I was smart and went with a list , vowing not to get sucked in by the cheapness and awesomeness of it all. And all I have to say after having been there is OH. MY.GOSH. I failed epically.


One of the first things to go in my trolley was the biggest jar of peanut butter I have ever seen. Naturally this wasn't for me because eating a teaspoon of this has the capacity to kill me. But I knew if I brought this home for Mr. P he'd just about crap his pants, because the way to keep your husband happy is to buy him a 44 gallon drum ( OK a slight exaggeration there) of peanut butter. I also procured him a sack of Reese's Peanut Butter cups, as extra insurance against future potential divorce. 


Here is Amy , who wanted to bring home some Peanut M&M's. I heard her muttering "I want ALL the M&M's" somewhat maniacally to herself , and Taz had to distract her by yelling "Look, 8 litre bottles of shampoo and conditioner!" and pointing in the opposite direction. 


Lots of things were cheap...so, so cheap. Outside of Costco a bakery would want you to pay at least 3 bucks each for these cupcakes, but at Costco the whole tray was just 9 freaking dollars. I didn't bring any of these home but I wanted to ..so so bad. I'm not really all that fond of cake but I do like frosting and these are cheap enough that you can buy them, lick off the frosting and give the cake to your husband telling him its Madeira cake. 


Taz couldn't resist pointing these out to me while laughing loudly. She comes across like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth but honestly ? She's kind of a bitch. 


For those of you that can't understand why a stack of gingerbread house kits would instill fear in a grown woman go and have a look here . And don't think for one moment Taz that I've forgotten you promised to be my gingerbread house pimp this year.  And thanks to other hilariously funny people, with a warped sense of humour, I already have a foam gingerbread house kit and a Christmas tree kit waiting in the wings for me this year . I'm looking at you, Cardygirl , and you Little Miss Sunshine. 


This was my trolley as I was standing at the checkout line.  I'm totally making S'mores with those jumbo marshmallows. They're the size of pillows. Bear in mind that these trolleys are twice the size of regular trolleys. And they are American trolleys so only the front two wheels move in every direction. The back wheels are fixed, which is a little disconcerting when you're used to doing a rapid 360 turn with Aussie trolleys. I may or may not have taken a couple of people out trying to use them like a normal trolley. But its all good. Costco has a trauma hospital on site too and I'm sure they did a bang up job of fixing the people I injured.  


This was part of the lineup for checkouts. That lady in the stripey pants wasn't really a serious shopper. She hardly has anything in her trolley at all. Jeez Love, put some effort into it. If  you're coming to Costco its kind of mandatory to buy one of everything. By this stage people were getting kind of feral and rude. Except for me- I was standing waiting my turn and dreaming of what I could make with 10,000 fluid oz of maple syrup and 12 pounds of American cheese. Preferably in the same recipe. Taz kept telling me we had a butt-load of cheese, which is where all the fat from the aforementioned cheese is going to end up ...


Look! Frozen cranberries-unheard of here !!!!Until now its been really disappointing when about this time of year Pinterest and other people's blogs are full of cranberry this and cranberry that and you cant get cranberries here. Now I can make cranberry everything.  And look! Maccas cheese . I was so excited it was almost sinful.  I love Maccas cheese and the only place you can get that here is on Maccas burgers. Its the most fluorescent  looking cheese I've ever seen. Mmmm...I love it's orangey processed goodness. 


Ranch dressing! Chipotle Sauce!!! I did the happy dance. For those prices you can drink it like a cocktail if you feel like it. A 12 kilo box of brownie mix? I'm in - gimme some of that. It doesn't matter that I'm not a big fan of brownies. It was too cheap not to buy it. By the time I chucked Hershey's cocoa in my trolley for 7 bucks I was giddy with the amazingness of it all. And I defy you to tell me who doesn't need 3/4 of a kilo of Maldon salt flakes for $14.99? Aside from my arteries and blood pressure. 

A lot of the prices were seriously awesome, some weren't, and I bought stuff for the sheer novelty factor of Chicken Pad Thai, Buffalo Wings and Waffle Fries. 

The Verdict: I almost had a panic attack when they rung up my total. I swear I hyperventilated. Excessive consumerism at its finest. Thank goodness we have disposable income because I managed to use a reasonable amount of this weeks buying stuff with it. But I wont have to buy glad wrap , hand wash or or tea bags for the next year so there is a definite up side.  Was it worth it? As a once off or occasional thing - definitely. If I shopped there every couple of weeks I'd probably go broke. 




35 comments:

Jennifer said...

Well, look at it this way.......for that price you have entertained yourself, and me, and everyone else who reads your blog......pretty good value, considering the price of theatre tickets these days!

Jackie said...

Ahh, Shay, the joys of shopping at Costco. We were in our Costco (well the one that is only 2 hours away) just last Saturday. Braved the Christmas madness and managed to get out all in one piece,without me losing my temper and running everyone over with my cart!!!

I did find out that Costco does not carry everything though, no embroidery floss, no fabric, and none of the yarn I needed. Oh well made it out with lots of good food to fill our tummy.

God bless.

PS Yes you will use that chocolate...I am managing to get through mine nicely.

Kirsty@Bonjour said...

Good to hear you made it out alive! I have yet to be to Costco (ours has been open for about a year) which is amazing considering I have 4 children. I was frightened by stories of the crowds, but I think that's all died down now. I have heard that you can buy cheap Champagne (Mo√ęt) too, so that will lure me over there eventually!

Michelle Ridgway said...

Lol! Hysterical! Cheap at half the price just on entertainment value! Glad you got out in one piece!

Cardygirl said...

Well, thanks for giving DH and myself a good Sunday morning laugh! Loved your story of Costco...but just where is that Gingerfoam House?????

P. said...

I was just at Costco today, matter of fact, and it looked exactly the same here, except for people in winter clothing. Laughed out loud at the maniacal expression with the jumbo peanut butter. My bank balance was saved only by my dislike of hoards of people. Get in and get the hell out was my mantra. I was like stripey pants woman, and your comment on her cracked me up!

Karen said...

Oh my!? I never thought about there not being warehouse shopping in Australia. Watch out!! I adore Costco but am stuck with sam's club which is fine too, and quite similar. It took me 8 years to finish a bleach based bathroom cleaner and I clean often! So you are right, balance need vs want and make sure you have storage :)

Kate said...

Wow, that's some serious grocery shopping. We have no discount grocery in town, so no adventures in grocery shopping for us. Hope Mr. P enjoys his peanut butter.

Mary Marcotte said...

I bought that box of brownie mix and made it to our son for his birthday since he doesn't "like" cake. (It's only 10 months of huge pregnant belly that's keeping me from disowning him for that blasphemy.) Your story is outrageously funny. Thanks for the laugh! Oh, you should explain how to manage a trolley on which all four wheels turn. I can't imagine driving such a thing!

audrey said...

I so love Costco--best store ever for bulk buying. Can't let my husband go by himself though 'cuz he always comes home with a couple 2-packs of the monster peanut butter. Do we seriously need the 12 I have in the pantry? lol Sounds like you had a wonderful time except for the price tag. That is the most dangerous spot in the entire store. hehe

Tazzie said...

Hahahaha, still laughing about the gingerbread. It was a fun day hon, let me save up and we'll do it again!
Hugs
Taz
:-)

Jackie said...

We buy their beef tenderloins/filets. Absolutely the best I've ever had anywhere. Just need salt and pepper. Their meat prices are good. Not sure about everything else. Like you, we never manage to get out of there for less than $200 US. My dad lives very close to a Costco and he goes and just buys milk. I'm not sure how that happens though...



Katie said...

RFLOL Love your take on “warehouse store” shopping! I read your whole post out loud to DH. :-)
As a person who has lived surrounded by Costcos and their ilk for my whole adult life (I have grey hair!) we’ve learned to shop for just certain things. Not that there isn’t a whole lot of temptation! There is another Costco opening up even closer to us. I can’t wait!! lol Oh. And the trolley thing. I’d probably kill someone or get killed with fully loaded carts with four turning wheels. I shudder to think of letting Americans loose with those things! Two wheel drive is bad enough. :-)

SoozeM said...

Mmmm marshamllows, choc chips, and peanut butter between Marie biscuits (unless you got Graham crackers also!), microwave, place in bowl, add a scoop of ice cream, top it off with a peanut butter cup and a generous amount of maple syrup, and there's most of your items used in one recipe :)

BTW if you run out Coles have frozen cranberries at the moment :) I can feel a Cranberry cocktail coming on...

AnnieO said...

The hardest part of shopping at Costco is my husband filling the cart with alcohol. At least we only go about 2-3 times a year. I don't have the storage for all the bulk stuff but enjoyed your trip immensely! Tazzie rightfully goaded you with the gingerbread house!

Lorraine said...

Like I said on Tazzie's blog, you gals are constantly striving to do things to torture yourselves! As a once a week (less if I can get away with it) shopper I could think of nothing worse than going to Costco, and wash my mouth out, but I didn't even have a clue who/what Costco was...now I know! ..all your food looks and sounds delicious though....did that sound sincere?? :)

Magical Mystical MiMi said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I laughed all thru this post because I LOOOVVVVEEEEE COSTCO!!!! I take a list only to make sure I get what we actually need, other than that it's all systems go and anything and everything may end up in my cart! And for me it's the giant variety pack muffins! They're HUGE! But, unlike you and those fabulous cupcakes that I cannot believe you didn't take home, I ALWAYS bring those muffins home! - Great post.. So happy you went and I look forward to more Costco posts! :D

Dee said...

Every time I see a gingerbread house I think of you.
I don't think I could afford to shop at Costco, I wouldn't be able to restrain myself

Terri said...

We love the milk...great price. We also buy snacks there. Ours has free samples, so you can tell what something tastes like before you invest. I have purchased the Crasins, but they will go bad by the time I get to the end of them, so I don't get them anymore. We buy the frozen fish. Keep it frozen until I fry or bake and you don't get that fishy smell in the house. (Most of the fish is vacuum packed individual fillets. Sometimes he gets the beer battered fillets he likes and I have an Alaskan Cod - no coating.) I mention Costco in my blog today, too.
Love your blog - every time, but this time !!! - thank you for the laughs, Girl.
Hugs

Dianne Neale said...

We don't have the please of a Costco here, but I do get excited when I find the odd English thing in the shops here! I'd love to know what the final bill was!

Leanne said...

I don't need to got to Chriscos now as you have just taken me....... Thanks for that.

Kate said...

Bwahahaha! I had to give up our Costco membership because I wasn't actually saving any money. "I just need meat and milk, and it's the best price. Ooh, a scrap booking cart. I can use that for scraps! Ooooh, the books are only $4 for hardcover! Ooh, maybe I do need a new pair of jeans. Because of the candy I'm also buying. Son of a bitch, how is my total $500 for meat and milk?"

thea said...

Costco is a weekly or bi-weekly event for us .. and not so much an event but a chore.

Do they sell alcohol at Costco? It's one of the biggest bargains at ours .. of course the bottles are larger than normal ..

So American cheese slices are something you could only get McDonald's until now. That was probably a good thing.

Crazy how things are becoming so international ...

thea said...

and the Ghiradelli brownies are divine. -- Ghiradelli is from San Francisco, I believe.

Sheila said...

Oh how we love Costco too, here in Scotland! Last January I got a huge bag of fresh cranberries reduced to 47p. They froze brilliantly and I have only just finished them. (Try Smitten Kitchen's Cranberry & vanilla coffee cake - yum)
Fortunately we only go every couple of months or so but we always overspend.

Sue SA said...

Darn it I just realised I wont be here to help you eat the "failed" gingerbread house efforts :( Mind you if is covered in choc chips, maple syrup and filled with brownies (which might help structural integrity) I might just have to pass! I think I will sneak out of town without visiting Costco, but thanks for the report - gave me a good giggle ;)

Sooli said...

Hahaha you better hope Mr P doesn't read your blog or he'll never eat Madeira cake again! I haven't yet been tempted to go to Costco but its only down the road so I'm sure I'll pop in for a sticky beak one day to see what all the noise is about. I'll wait for the initial crowd scenes to die down.

Tamie said...

It is so funny to read your post and realize that you haven't had Costco or Sams down under. It makes me wonder what you have that we don't have here in the US. I never thought about the cranberry dilemma either. Oh- and you know that Thanksgiving is this week in the US. I'll be thinking about you as I spend hours and hours in the kitchen.

Samplings from Spring Creek said...

We have had a membership to Costco for a couple of years and really like the store. Because it is so easy to overspend, we limit our visit. We especially enjoy the produce dept

Helsie said...

Well done. Glad you survived. We have one up here but I haven't been . Don't think I will be joining either , we just don't need food in those quantities and then you have to store it all somewhere.

Rachaeldaisy said...

LOL!! Too funny. I've never been to cosco. It looks like bunnings but food! Crikey! I hope you managed to fit it all into the pantry when you got it all home or is there chocolate stashed all over the house.The idea of you licking the icing off the cakes cracked me up.

Katy Cameron said...

Damnit, I need a husband to pass off faux madeira cakes too! And to pay for me to go to Costco... Glad you had fun though!

Larri said...

Bwahahaha! Enjoyed many a belly laugh as I read this post, Shay! To see COSTCO through your eyes makes me realize what I take for granted. We have that giant store, plus a Sam's Club just down the street from it. Glad you survived your epic journey and look forward to your next shopping post!

PS...What did Mr. P think of all that peanut butter? And have you used the cranberries yet? How did they taste?

Elizabeth said...

I'm so embarrassed that we call that stuff cheese and put our name on it. Seriously. Maybe it tastes better where you live?

Loved your post. I was right there with you the first time I went to Costco.

Also, I gave it up It really wasn't "cheaper" in the end :)

xo -E

Marg said...

How did I miss this?
I told you so, I knew you would love it, but it does make a pretty big hole in your wallet/bank account.
I am going to try really hard to remember never to eat Madeira cake when I visit you. Although I would gladly help you lick the icing off those babies.
I wish I could have been with you, it would have been a hoot.