Sunday, June 16, 2013

Adventures with Pinterest

I know I'm addicted to Pinterest because I spend hours on there pinning things I'm unlikely to ever make, do or cook. Before Pinterest I used to store "Things I was never going to get back to " under the heading "Things Im probably never going to look at or find again" in my bookmarks on my computer. But with Pinterest I fool myself into thinking if I pin it I've almost made it ...so I don't need to go to the trouble of actually doing the work. 

Aside from the fact I've invested a huge chunk of my life in my co-dependant relationship with Pinterest when I could have been using my time for productive pursuits like brokering world peace or discovering a preventative cure for ingrown toenails I've come to realise that Pinterest makes me really angry.  If I have to look at one more salted caramel dip, cake, cookie, cupcake, icing, frosting, donut or sauce  I may just go postal. I'm so over salty caramel ANYTHING. Let it go. It's the Tiramisu of 2013. Let's all just move on shall we? And peanut butter - every second thing I look at has PB in it. That's right up there with Salty Caramel too. 

And all those talented people out there pinning DIY home gorgeousness - don't they realise that just makes the rest of us feel inadequate? Stop showing off ! Why cant they just live in chaos and disorder like the rest of us? 

Anyway this post does have a point. I've decided to beat Pinterest at it's own game and start making at least some of the stuff I pin. And blogging about it - or submitting my attempts to Pinstrosity because I'm pretty sure there will be stuff ups galore along the way. And being the worlds most prolific Pinterest stuffer upper might be my ticket to fame. 

At some point in the last few weeks apparently I'd taken the adage "an apple a day keeps the doctor away " a little too seriously and I had about 6 kilos of apples slowly desiccating in the bottom of the fridge. I like to tell myself that those kind of things are science experiments so I can leave them there with no feelings of guilt when we all know I'm just waiting for them to go so bad I can legitimately throw them out.

But yesterday I was on a "waste not want not" kick and so I turned to Pinterest for inspiration with apples. 



And came across a lot of recipes for apple butter (and salty caramel apple butter too) It seemed straight forward enough and I thought of all the cool places I could use apple butter- like on toast or pancakes or on ice cream and in cakes and on cakes and as a dip. So I set about peeling and coring umpteen million kilos of apples (OK about 3 kilos worth) and dumping them in the crock pot with Cinnamon, all spice , a ton of sugar , some extra liquid and a teeny weeny bit of ground cloves. And then I checked it every few hours for about 10 hours and occasionally gave it a loving stir.


Before bed I turned the crock pot down to warm for overnight ...because I wanted to gently coddle my apple butter into submission. And I went to bed and dreamed of apple butter pancakes for breakfast. 



And when I woke up this morning I checked out my apple butter goodness and realised that we had obviously had intruders overnight who broke in to turn the crock pot up to high.


All my apples had gone from filling the pot to barely covering the bottom and you could literally stand a spoon up in what was left. 


Not to be deterred I was still confident I could save it. I added some water, mixed it up, turned the crock pot off and waited for it too cool so I could put it in the food processor. I'm an optimist and it's never over till the fat lady sings. 


I processed the apples to within an inch of their lives while the fat lady did her thing and then Mr. P and I bickered over who was going to be the taste tester (and who was going to be the person who ultimately lived) I won and Mr. P drew the short straw because I didn't want to eat something that looked like it belonged in a toilet.  And I kept mentioning that too as he was trying to eat it. 

Its quite funny to see man who will eat almost anything bar beetroot and brussel sprouts struggling to swallow a mouth full of apple whatever the hell that was  because his wife was deliberately blocking the sink so he couldn't spit it out. 

When Mr. P had finally recovered the ability to speak he squeaked out "Ugh - it tastes like medicine-it's horrible ". I thought he was over exaggerating until I put a tiny bit on my tongue. The consistency was like eating a mouthful of wet sand. While I lamented the waste of apples and time Mr. P muttered "Some one at work might like it" and pointedly followed up with "YOUR work"...Enough said. 

I think I'm calling this a fail. 



35 comments:

Kate said...

It's not a complete fail, at least you used apples that were likely to go bad anyway.

Sooli said...

Hahaha! Love that you made your hubby taste it first. Self-preservation at its best. My theory is that if you're going to have a fail it might as well be a monumental one. No point wasting all that time on an average fail! So therefore, a successful fail! (Obviously a shoddy recipe I reckon.)

audrey said...

'A loving stir'! hehe Sounds like something I would do too just before I went to bed! I stay away from Pinterest food pics and recipes. Nothing I make could ever look so good so I give up before I even start.:)

thea said...

hmmm. are you an apple butter fan? I've never had it though I've seen it lots. did you submit it to pinstrosity?

I bet your house smelled great while you were making it.

Lee said...

Well, the apple creation may be a fail, but you sure ended up with a good tale ;)

Rachaeldaisy said...

LOL!! You really got me with the ending, I really thought it was going to be the sweetest tasting delicacy ever created. I like the photo of the spoon standing straight up. Too Funny!!

Mistea said...

Maybe a little too much cooking?
Glad the mr tasted it for you (and gave an honest response).
Enjoy your Pinterest adventures.

Diane-crewe said...

thanks for sharing this cautionary tale ... gave me a good laugh this morning xx My daughter LOVES pintrest... trouble is she sends ME all the things she thinks I should make ... for her!! lol x

Suzan said...

Funny you mention Pinterest as I have noticed your pins every time I log in! :) I make apple butter in a crock pot and mine does not ever taste like medicine. Mine is brown, textured and tastes like heaven spread on a fat piece of french bread covered in butter. I see gorgeous things on Pinterest but know that realistically I am not going to have corners of my home staged with lace, old books and candlesticks. ANYONE can make a spot in their home pretty for 30 minutes. I want to see live 24 hour video! What I have found helpful on Pinterest are household tips, DIY stuff that I think I can actually do and links to wonderful blogs. Regarding salted caramel...I am just happy folks are over the Nutella craze!

Helsie said...

Oh Heavens , the poor, noble man. You'd better go and buy some more apples and make him a good old fashioned apple crumble now

Cindy said...

LOL LOL LOL!!!! Well..it started out looking really good, but I am glad I didn't purchase my plane ticket. I am really looking forward to your next Pinterest adventure!

MB in MI said...

LOL! for sure!! You gave it a valiant try with the apple butter! And I hate to admit it, but my mouth watered when I really thought about all the salty caramel stuff! Enjoy your day :-)

Jindi's Cottage said...

B....y crock pot goblins...I can't come at the idea of the salty caramel thing either, ick...

Marie said...

oh Shay ... you are just too funny .... I've tried not to get sucked in by pintrest ... but dang it's just to tempting.

And then there are the idiots who post receipes on facebook -- what the hell -- ....

Elizabeth said...

That is SO frustrating! Your apples were so beautiful. And then they weren't. I applaud you for trying to make the best of it and am sorry that it didn't work out.

Also, I'm with you on the salted caramel. I prefer my savory and sweets separate.

xo -E

Kirsten's Cooking said...

I don't understand why it wouldn't have worked!!! Seems like an easy idea. Sometimes I wonder how many of these pins have never been tested.

That Mr. P....he's a trouper! I wish you would have captured his face and shared it with us!:)

Canadian Abroad said...

(a) You need one of those peeler, coring, slicing things I have. (b) Just make a bunch of pies, freeze without cooking and then they are ready for the oven whenever you have the apple pie need for the next six months.

Nanci Stokes said...

Too funny shay, that stuff reminded me of "The Help" pie..at least yours looks like...s...t, and not chocolate do do....Yes, even "I" saw your name on Pinterest. I love it too, but must say that I am one who does chose which recipes I add there. And for your info...my apples in a crock looked like a crock of ...well use your imagination too!

Quiltn Mama said...

The Diva dubbed it 'Sparkling Poo'. Sorry it didn't work out, but it sure as hell was great for a laugh and am glad the mister survived being the taste-tester!

Quiltn Mama said...

The Diva dubbed your concoction 'Sparkling Poo'. Sorry it didn't work out, but hey, at least it was good for a laugh right?! That and the mister survived the taste-test!

P. said...

Well, it may not have tasted good, but it was good for a laugh (on this end) anyway.

We must have been on the same wavelength because I'd been thinking the same about Pinterest, that I should make or do things inspired by Pins. (Not sure how I'd work in all the men I have pinned tho...)

Is there such a thing as Pinstrosity? The link wasn't working for me. Is it like Regretsy?

Noela said...

We all have things like that happen. A great post Shay and gave me a good laugh for the morning. Hugs....

Marti said...

Oh no! That's terrible, but so funny the way you told it. But to think of all the time you spent peeling and stirring, just to have apple sand.

Dianne Neale said...

Oh I love anyone who can screw cooking up better than me!!

Karen said...

Can you just purchase apple butter? :)

AnnieO said...

The Pinterest bug hasn't bitten me too hard...but it sure can suck time I don't have! I happen to hate tiramisu and love salty caramel but agree it is EVERYWHERE right now. Some of the fail posts are hilarious--can't wait to see your apple butter stuff up join the rest of reality bites! Poor Mr. P.

Maree: said...

Maybe you should just stick to Pinning lol
xx

Susan Entwistle said...

Too funny. At least he tried it :)

Kirsten's Cooking said...

Just had to tell you: I tried the healthy smoothie (from Pinterest) that tastes 'just like a Wendy's frosty'.

It was disgusting. Nothing has ever tasted less like a Wendy's frosty!

On the upside, I have found some great recipes on Pinterest, but it really makes me mad when there is an obvious imposter!!!! :)

Marg said...

Bugger

Marg said...

Bugger

Marg said...

Bugger

Leanne said...

You always make me laugh. I told you Pinterest was addictive.

Katy Cameron said...

I'm not laughing at the spoon standing up. I'm not. I'm killing myself laughing ;o) I knew there was a reason I hated apples, evil little buggers!

Brenda said...

Ahhahaha! Sorry, but glad you posted, it's kinda funny!