Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Home Stretch

Do you know that feeling where you're anticipating something but you have a lot of crud to wade through first to get to the good shit? It always feels so close and yet so far away. It's like those dreams where you're being chased by something hideous (insert your biggest fear here) and not being able to reach somewhere safe.  That's been me this week.

I've been refusing to get excited about Mai Tai's and grass skirts and sunshine until I got through some of the billion skillion things I had to do this week in order to get to the cocktails, flip flops, sarong part of my life.  I gotta tell you people it's only Wednesday and this week has been as slow as molasses. 

One thing I can cross off my list of things to do this week is "getting an ear infection". Naturally I had to do this the week before I'm going to be stuck 10 miles up in the sky in a tin can for 10 straight hours. I'm not great with decompression in planes anyway (I'm the pathetic creature sitting in Row 7A keening and rocking when we descend feeling like my head is about to explode)  but I really did it properly this time and am dosed up on steroids and antibiotics so my ear drum doesn't perforate mid flight. Dousing the plane with ear goo isn't the way to make friends on a long haul flight. 

Cool stuff I'm looking forward to (because this time next week I'll actually be in Honolulu-not bragging- just saying) includes being somewhere the sun DOES shine, driving on the wrong side of the road, learning how to tip and having everyone stare at me because I talk funny. I'm hoping we aren't going to stick out like dog balls and embarrass the crap out of Australia somehow. 

I suppose I should probably start with not saying things like "stick out like dog balls"...



34 comments:

thea said...

Always good to get those important things (ear infections) crossed off the list early. It actually is better to have it taken care of before you fly -- rather than having to deal with it while you're flying.

I read "odd" balls, because that's the expression I would use -- yours is probably a more accurate expression. Remember Americans love your accents and will enjoy hearing you say the most mundane things (picture the scene from Love Actually).

Super jealous here and wishing I could hop a plane and meet you there.

Razzle Dazzle Quilter said...

Hi Shay
Ear infection not good! you are probably about the only person on earth that could bring some humour to that situation!!!
Have a wonderful holiday, you sure deserve it.
Cheers
Linda

thea said...

and there's no tipping in Australia?

Anne-Lise at Rag, Tag, Bobtail said...

I hope your ear clears up real fast and that you have a lovely trip.

Susan Standen said...

No, no, no! You MUST say things like that. You will either have people make faces like cats arses, or meet and make incredible friends. It will sort the wheat from the chaff lickity split.

Quiltn Mama said...

I suppose 'stick out like dog balls' is the equivalent to my 'sexier than a 3-balled tomcat'. But that's just a guess. Enjoy your trip to paradise!

Larri SeamsInspired said...

So sorry to hear about the ear. With all those meds, it's sure to clear up before next week. Better now than mid-flight. :)

Seriously...stay true to yourself and speak as you do. That's what makes you so wonderfully you. (Didn't Dr. Seuss write something like that?)

Gettin' greener by the minute here thinking of all the fun you're going to have in Hawaii. Only wish I was there too. :)

Happy Wednesday!

Bonnie said...

Hope the infection clears up soon. Maybe our planes will be crossing paths (safely of course) as we head to Australia. This time next week we will be seeing family (grandchildren especially) and enjoying precious time together. Enjoy your holiday!

Jennifer said...

Bummer about the ear! I can sympathise with you pain on landing, because I have the same problem.....it's not nice, is it? They won't laugh at your accent, believe me - in the US we have been mistaken for English people rather than taken for Aussies, now that's a deadly insult if ever there was one.

Cardygirl said...

Hope the ear improves and you have a FABULOUS holiday...you deserve it!

Kelli said...

LOL~this made me laugh, Shay! Americans will love your accent, and your slang. :) Just like I do.. (well, your accent I'm imagining.) ;) I've been to Hawaii, and it's much more user friendly than that. I didn't realize Aussies drove on the left side of the road. When you said wrong side of the road, I thought no they drive on the right side of the road in Honolulu. hehe I hope you have the best time ever, and that your ear goo stays where it's supposed to. :) xoxo

Kelli said...

(and get well soon!)

Amanda said...

When you do something you do it well. Hope the ear all clears up in plenty of time for the big plane trip. You sure you don't need anyone to carry your bags? Have a good one.

Kirsten's Cooking said...

For some reason, the week before vacation always takes twice as long and then vacation flies by at warp speed. All I can say is that there better be tons (!!!!) of pictures to chronicle your time. I've never been to Hawaii and I'm living vicariously through you (possible forever). Have a super great time!!!!!!!

Shocking Hocking said...

the anticipation is sooo much longer than the actual - hope your ear infection gets better soon - very painful on a plane - best have lots of 'medicine' (insert champers or something similar) enjoy your holiday

Deb said...

How exciting that the time is just a hop, skip and a jump away and you are going to be lazing in the sun, relaxing, shopping till ya drop and all round having a good time. You so deserve a lovely holiday. Hoping you get rid of that nasty earache hun. Take care and have a fantastic breAk.xx

Marie said...

heal, pack, go and forget the rest of the crap .... because it's only crap!!!

have fun .... if you wear the grass skirt/coconut bra outfit you can probably skip the tipping ....

P. said...

Ah, plenty of time to heal from an ear infection. Keep your eyes on the mai-tais! Happy packing, but pack light. You can buy what you don't have, and who needs clothes in Hawaii anyway? Not that I would know. Have fun!

Kate said...

Hope the ear clears up quickly. Thea's right, Americans will love your accent.

Kristie said...

Have a wonderful holiday!! I am sure you will shake up Hawaii....dog balls, here hee! Take care of that bloody ear infection :(

Kris said...

See, not only are your posts entertaining, but so are your commenters. That's why I keep coming back to Maison Pajamas!

A billion skillion? You have too many things on your list Shay! (I love pointing out the obvious) If some of these comments are true you will still be here in Oz this time next week (before hols sooooo long!) and back again the day after this time next week (hols waaaaay too short!) Awww for the eardrum and pain and the 10 hour flight. (Could they not move Hawaii closer?) And for those who don't know, there is no tipping in Oz (although if you speak with an American accent waiters, cabbies etc will tell you otherwise) because minimum wage here is a living wage.

And yes, I think you will stick out like the proverbial, because you are you! (You know, special!)

AnnieO said...

Don't stretch yourself too thin so you are too exhausted to carry on about dog balls in your cool accent while driving on the wrong side of the road!

Hoping you have an amazingly smooth trip and wow the socks off all the Americans.

When I went to Hawaii I was amazed at how many Japanese also make Hawaii a honeymoon/vacation destination! That was 30 years ago, however.

Michelle Ridgway said...

Ouch! At least you did it before you went. I hope you have a fantastic time.

Katy Cameron said...

Eeeewwww, icky! Hope the drugs are seriously good, and maybe even knock you out for the flight (and if not, mug someone for the good stuff ;o) )

Have a fab time in Hawaii, I've already been promised a t-shirt for sewing summit saying I got leied in Hawaii, you have to hunt down one of those ;o)

Rachaeldaisy said...

I'm always running around doing things before going on holiday so I know what you're going through. But once you get on the plane it'll all wash away and you'll have the holiday of a life time. Make sure you take lots of photos of you in a grass skirt!! We want to see!!

Helsie said...

What a shame about the ear infection but at least you should have it under control by the time you leave. Make sure to take something thsat you can chew when taking off and landing - or sip a drink. You need to be swallow to help the pressure in your ears.
Have a fab time
Cheers

Sue SA said...

Job number 1 trillion, before you leave google where the quilt shops are in Hawaii!! I didnt and then when we stumbled across one it was the one day they were closed! Loved Maui and the Big Island and the weather was great - we went in Oct, just sunny every day and the odd rain shower. People are lovely and the meals are huge! Enjoy...beware of women in uniforms with wands at airports, cos she is going to touch you up....claims she is just checking that you really DO have an underwire bra on...yeah right, cos wearing a TShirt I could really fit a AK40 between my B cups!! Hmm yes the USA is still paranoid about security post Sept 11. Still the rest of the Hawaii knows how to be hospitable to tourists, they consider it their civic duty, much better at it then the Aussies!

Terri said...

I got a good chuckle... just be yourself. You are a God Send to us! You'll make happy happen there, too. Have a wonderful holiday!
Hugs

Shasta said...

I hope you feel better Shay and have a great vacation. I guess it is better to get sick before a vacation than during the vacation. You just got it out of the way!

Sooli said...

Hi Shay, loving your blog but why wouldn't I, one Adelaide girl to another! It appears we have very similar opinions on the very dangerous practice of housework - to be avoided at all costs!
Seriously sucks getting an ear infection just now before your big trip! Fear not about embarrassing Australia, we're Aussies, we don't give a shit! Looking forward to reading future updates and so glad I found your blog! Thanks to Blue Mountain Daisy.

Nanci said...

I can see it now,..the new Honolulu hula girl...shaking up the islands! They are not prepared for you girl...and I totally agree with comment about the security thing...taken so far as to ask wheel chaired old ladies to take off the shoes and out of the chair and walk please....fool them...don't wear the bra...have fun, load up on the drugs, and be careful. we will miss you lots.

Cindy said...

Awwww, Shay....you will do Australia proud!! I so wish I could meet you there. I hope you feel better before you leave, but most of all, take this time to just take care of you. Looking forward to hearing all about your trip and seeing lots of pictures!!! XOXOXO Travel Safe!

quiltygal said...

I'm sure that there have been plenty of other Aussies that have embarassed before you !! but knowing you I'm sure that you will do us all proud we are counting on you :) Hope the ear heals ok & you have a truely fantastic time want to hear all about it when you get back ....coffee time is in order methinks :)

Leslie said...

I've never even been to Haiwaii! And I had a h&*$ of a time spelling it just now.

SO EXCITED to see the grass skirt photos of you! :) :)