Apparently clothes maketh the man ...or woman as the case may be. I hope that’s not actually true because if it is , I am slob who likes pants with no actual waist bands, and I think we’ve already established my underwear collection is seriously not something that should be seen in public even on my washing line-mainly because I’m concerned about it disintegrating if the suns rays touch it such is the sad state of the elastic in it.
I envy the person who can chuck on Capri’s and strappy thongs and a plain tshirt and look like they just stepped out of the pages of Vogue. When I do that it looks like I just rolled out of the back of a turnip truck.
So as I sit here in my Cookie monster pyjamas wondering whether I am in fact, the worlds biggest dag, I’ve been pondering whether I need to up my game a bit and just how much I’ve really let myself go. Some people can turf on a potato sack and look glamorous. I am not in that fortunate class. These days it takes hours and much expense to look even remotely glam.
I used to have a job where I wore suits to work. And heels. And makeup. Apparently I was the scion of style. Flash forward to this job. It’s hard to get a mother to trust and engage with you when you’re wearing a 150 dollar suit, full face makeup and minty fresh breath and they have weetbix in their hair and the last time they saw a toothbrush was last Tuesday. So I go casual. But now I’m thinking I need to make a bit more of an effort, lest I be mistaken for one of those middle aged ladies that has let herself go to pot. Maybe I’m too casual?
I admit I have a shoe fetish. I am well known for it. Last year I got the Imelda Marcos award at our office Christmas party. My girlfriends made me pose in front of a show shop sign that said “If the shoe fits – buy it in every colour”. The reason I love shoes is because my feet don’t get fat. It doesn’t matter whether I’m 150 pounds or 250 pounds my shoes still fit. And I don’t have to worry about whether my bum looks big in them either. I have the awesome-est collection of shoes in all of Australia. The rest of my wardrobe leaves a lot to be desired.
I hardly EVER wear makeup. I have a pot of mineral makeup I’ve had for about 5 years. It’s petrified in the container. I live in jeans even at work if I’m not in pyjamas at home. In fact I own about 20 pairs of jeans. I even wear camo pants to work. And am I really hoping against hope that wearing your hair in a knotted twisty bun or a pony tail is in - because I do it about 4 times a week. And I don’t wear anything round my middle that shows off my three spare tyres. I think my style is middle aged don't give a crap Ive earned the right to be comfortable.
So what is your style ? I want pictures of what you’re wearing as you’re reading this post ...to see how I compare and to give me an indication of just how much I need to worry about this.